A Rift In My Space/Time Continuum

It is turning out to be a pretty traumatic week for this blogger. All of a sudden my youngest son is 16. He has his drivers temps, he shaves, his voice is deep (others can't tell the difference between Matt, Sam and I when we answer the phone at home), and his is as tall or taller than Matt now. This is our baby, of course, he hates for me to say that. Sam is so much fun to have around. He always keeps things interesting and entertaining. I am excited to see what is in store for him this next year. He will be off to new adventures with his schooling and his being able to start in the big world of employment.

Another event that seems to have shaken, not stirred, me is the fact that Matt is graduating. It has been a long, hard road to go for him and schooling but the end is in sight. Once again, I find it somewhat difficult to comprehend that I have two high school graduates as children. That is only for old people, which apparently I is one now. Matt had a little bit of a shock this past week when he got a letter from Moody Bible Institute that he was excepted to the Chicago campus for next fall. It was pretty interesting to see him go from "forget that" to "wow, this could be a real cool experience". But, after a phone call to MBI, we discovered that he (along with others) had received the acceptance letter by mistake. Matt even showed some disappointment in the news, which was encouraging for us.

So, there it is. I am searching for who I am and how to become the father that I need to be for these boys at there next stage of life (along with Becca for that matter). I keep telling them that I was amazed at how smart my dad got when I graduated from college. I hope that I can get smart like that for them when they need me to..

I Am Not Superman

I am sure that there is nothing more humbling than the realization that I am not Superman. Now, I am sure that the thought of me being Superman has never crossed the minds of most of those who know me.

I have come to this conclusion after several weeks of not being able to fix problems, mend broken hearts, stop natural occurrences, or convince mankind that this world isn't all there is. Granted, I didn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or be as fast as a speeding bullet, well, you get the picture.

I have certain expectations that I can not seem to meet. I am finding that this is a growing time for me. My idea of being a father/husband is being stretched, and it's not a bad thing. The days of "because I said so", or "I think it should be this way" are just not there any more. I am being forced to just listen and be quiet. I don't have to have the solution, or the correct answer, or the resolution to a problem immediately, for it seems that those things made impulsively and without processing, add more to the problem or situation.

Does life ever stop teaching us lessons?

The Day Passed ....

I wanted to write in my journal. It is the journal where I documented my thoughts and the events of Dad’s homegoing. All day long I kept reminding myself that I needed to do it. Last year on this date, I made an entry, and wanted to continue to add as the years go on.

But all of a sudden, life got busy. A broken heart needed assurance that it would heal, a second opinion was needed on a medical condition, an ear needed bending after a long day and a plan of action was to be determined to recover a lost but valuable item.

Suddenly, the day had passed.

And as I thought about it this morning, it occurred to me that suddenly, another year has passed. Another year without that deep laugh we all enjoyed when we were together for Dad had such a great sense of humor. Another year without that Godly wisdom, that was not only spoken but lived out. Another year of without our companion, husband, friend, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.

Weddings have occurred, births of great grandsons to carry on the Boscaljon name, families relocating, and life have passed. The year was good for some, hard for most. Financial worries, occupational decisions, and a new “change” to come to our nation, have all caused us to pause and reflect, and sometimes, withdraw.

I wonder if time is realized in heaven. Does Dad know he is still loved and missed? Does he know that when I slice my hand replacing the waterpump on my car I think of him? Is he proud when the car actually runs after my repair is complete, with no leftover parts? Does he understand my emotions when, at the very same desk I watched him for so many years, I sit down to do my devotions? I wonder how it will feel, when I get to hug him again the way Matt hugs me, completely exhausting all oxygen in my body, but realigning those wayward vertebra in the process. Does he know the number of times I would have sought his counsel on financial decisions?

The days pass, and those days turn to years passing, and yet Dad is still remembered and loved and missed, and I still wouldn’t want him to trade where he is at now for any place else. I take great comfort in knowing that I will see that big smile and hear that laugh again.

So this evening I will write in my journal some random thoughts about the year, and reflect again on the man who was my father and evaluate the role that I play as a father to my kids.

In memory of Gordon Boscaljon, my dad.

To Start With....

I suppose before I can start expounding on my views of all the universe entails, I should, at the very least, give some background of who I am.

This might help answer the question of "Why would anyone care what I have to say?" from my first entry. Upon getting to know me, you might think there is something that I might be able to offer. Advice, counsel, humor, ridicule, and at the very least, a chance to waste your valuable time.

I am a little over 45, middle class, all-american husband of one wife and 3 kids. Happily married for 22 years, especially this year, which has be racked with a number of events that have pulled us closer together than any year before. We have talked, discussed loudly, prayed and cried together more this past year than any before. Needless to say, it has been a hard year.

Anyway, back to my favorite wife. She is the love of my life, my best friend, and a great mom to me and the kids. As the great line from that stupid movie says, "She completes me." (This is in no way an endoresement of said movie).

As mentioned before, I have three great kids. I used to tell them when they were much younger, that if I would line all the kids in the world up that were their age, they would be the one I would pick to keep. And I still feel the same way today (although not all the time, a very high percentage of the time). We have homeschooled all three of them and I think it is a major reason why they have turned out to be the way they are (good and bad).

Rebecca is our first born child. She graduated from high school the spring of 2007, and graduated from University of Akron - Wayne College with an associates degree this past spring, thanks largely to the post secondary classes she was able to take while in high school. She is currenly working for the Martial Arts Federation as an administrative assistant, and really enjoys it. She is the one on the right of the picture, getting ready to kick Matt.

Matthew is a senior this year. He is working for Town and Country Co-op, tossing around 50lb. bags of feed, soil, peat moss, and whatever else they want him to toss around. Here is Matt, with his favorite mother at our niece's wedding this past year. He was very excited to be there.

Samuel is a sophomore, and has taking over many of Matt's employment oppurtunities. He watches a couple young men, while their mother works on Saturday. He did some haying for a friend this past summer. This is Sam at said wedding.

All three of the kids are heavily involved in Martial Arts. Their world revolves around it. They are currenly gearing up for a week in North Carolina after Christmas.

I am a senior technical support analyst at a major jewelry retailer where every kiss begins with "k". I have been there 12 years. Val works as a seller of shoes at the local outlet mall.

Well thats about it for our lives. The decision is yours now. It is completely up to you if you feel that what I blog about is worth your valuable time and effort.

Who would want to read my blog?

I have thought about starting a blog page, but wondered who in the world would care what I had to say. My co-workers don't listen to me, my kids don't listen to me, my wife listens to me, but she is supposed to.

I guess the bigger question is: Do I have anything worth while to say that others would want to read? That is really the bigger question.

Well, without having any of those questions answered, I am going to give it a try.

So here it goes.....

Okay....